Saturday, January 22, 2011

A Heavy Heart

Ugh, I just feel the need to write it all out. Maybe it will all make sense in my head when I am done.
I have been attending a church since we moved back here. It is a large church and all of my friends attend. But, I am having some serious reservations about it.


  • I love the preacher. He is a great speaker and I am always moved to do better in my life every Sunday morning.
  • They have a great kids program. Mainly for kindergarten and up. I have seen the program and I love the message and way they promote it.
  • They have a wonderful Wednesday night program for women. The speaker, Beth, can usually bring a tear to my eye as she emphasizes the role of being a mother and woman.
  • I like the contemporary music. I know all the "old" hymns by heart and is nice to see fresh music.


  • I am a numbers person and when I read the financial statement, it is hard for me to ignore the fact that over 60% of the budget is spent on "staff". I know that it takes alot to run a church, but my belief is in helping others. When I write a measly check for $100 and I realize that only $40 of that is helping people in the community, it is hard.
  • The outreach program is lacking. I signed up for Community Service Day, prepared to spend a day helping others. I spent 20-30 minutes delivering processed snacks to firefighters. The program said "Baked Goods", that was not the case. I was even prepared to bake (gasp!) if I needed to.
  • I am really looking for a church that is more of a community. I want to see the same people every Sunday and see the same people when working on community service.
  • I have only seen about 5 people be baptized in this church. And absolutely no "members" added. It is not something that they do. And I noted above about the new music, but I do still like the classic hymns.

Am I crazy? Does this church exist? Maybe I am just not participating in all the activities that I should at this church and not giving it the chance it deserves?

What I want:

  • I want Abby to grow up in a church that she wants to get married in.
  • I want her to have life long friends that have the same values.
  • I want to give back. Not always monetary, but with my time and using the skills that I have.

So tell you know of a church that I might like? I have done some research online tonight, so might be checking out a few new ones soon. But I will take any suggestions!


Other note - congrats to my next friend that is pregnant and is due Sept 1st. I know she doesn't read my blog, but I am still so happy for her!


Edited: Reading back through my post, I sign whiney. And I am. It is hard to form a good relationship with a church/God. But I was so upset about today that I just needed to vent it out. I wanted to write a letter to the church about my disappointment, but after my friends made fun of me ( ;) ), I decided to just write it out on here!


Anonymous said...

You are just experiencing what a lot of people go through finding a "home church". Big is not always better for some people. The best approach may be to visit churches in your community first and go from there.


Anonymous said...

Hi! I happened upon your blog through randomly clicking through a number of people's blogrolls and don't personally know you. I must say I am glad to see a person attending to her faith and the faith of her family. And also questioning what she needs. My husband is a Pastor so a number of your concerns hit home.
Regarding staff, a good thing to think about is more than what percentage of the budget salaries are -- but how high those salaries are. Pastors notoriously get meager salaries and if that is not the case at your church, it might be a sign that priorities are lacking. Budgets are shrinking nowadays due to the recession and people not being able to give as much as they used to, so many budgets look lopsided as churches cut every expense possible before staff. Even despite this, I know several people in ministry who have lost their jobs because their churches cannot afford to pay them anymore.
Also regarding staff, is there a staff member whose sole job is Outreach? Many times church staff have ample motivation but do not have the time and opportunity to provide other ministries, be it youth, chidren's, outreach, etc. We cannot expect more of them or risk them neglecting themselves and their families. If there isn't a person whose job is for outreach, perhaps you might be willing to organize a small event. It sounds like you have a heart for outreach, and this could be just the opportunity to get the ball rolling. We can't always depend on church staff to "do" everything. God intended for us all to serve others.
Finally, regarding community, if you do not feel at home at this church, it might be helpful to visit other churches. 2 important questions to ask yourself: Are my and my family's needs being met here? and How can I serve others?
I hope God grants you the peace and direction to find what you are seeking. Blessings to you!

Wiz said...

I dont think you sound whiny at all. Finding a good church is really hard sometimes.

gammy said...

there are some good advice here Ann. visit some church's or go on line. There is also The Family Worship Center on Sulpher Springs. Look that one up. Anyway, you will find one.